My Own Pandora

I want to know how I aged 50 years in less than a year. Seriously.

You may think my life forever changed the day I met my wonderful husband. Or the day I married my wonderful husband. Or the day I found out I was having my amazing little son. Or the day I did have my amazing little son. Although those are all life-changing events, my life forever changed on July 10, 2009.

I woke up that day never to run again, never to touch my toes again, never to do jumping jacks again, never to tie my shoes in comfort again. I was 30 years & a few several months old that day & ever since then, I feel as though I'm 80 years old.

I look at people with those rolling-walker-things who have a cane dangling from the handle bars & a knee-pad they can rest their "bad" leg on ... or better yet, the knee-pad also serves as a seat in case they get too tired from pushing their rolling-walker-thingy from their car to the grocery store entrance & they need to sit & rest for a few. Gimme another week & that'll be me. Come May, that's what I am asking for for my birthday. Uh huh, my 31st birthday, not my 81st, you heard me right, my 31st. And even with that being said, my 89-year-old grandmother was more mobile than I am!

I know I am just whining & I have no reason for it. I am truly grateful that I am not JakeSully (although I am normally NOT a sci-fi fan, those of you who are Avatar fans, you'll know who I'm referring to) & I am grateful I can walk without a roller-walker-thingy right now (again, until next week probably) & I can hold Cashe & I can afford insurance that will offer me necessary back-pain-relief, but what kills me is, I was so active before July 10th, 2009! I was training for a the Robie Creek Half Marathon & I was doing the killer P90X workout every day & I was at the gym 5 days a week. I didn't do it all because I thought I was fat (although I certainly have had my share of "fat days"). I did it because I loved doing it. And now I can't.

I know I shouldn't covet others, but I envy those who get to go jogging or run on their treadmills or do their elipticals ... or tie their shoes. I do feel like JakeSully right now & I wish I had my own Pandora where I could run & play like he did (instead of feeling sorry for myself).