Composing My Own Country Song

Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. The last month has been such a rough one, I can't wait to forget it all. The pain is deteriorating slowly but surely & I am more mobile than I was 2 weeks ago. Grandma's legacy has been fun to reminisce about for the past week, so coping with her loss has gotten easier.



Then, today I had to take my kitty, Jasmine into the vet. He was diagnosed with asthma about 2 years ago & has had a really hard few months. He's lost a ton of weight & his breathing has gotten much, much worse. He hadn't eaten in days & he was drinking a lot more than usual. He wouldn't purr when I pet him, which was highly unusual, so I knew it was time to take him in.

Well, the exam showed that he had lost half of his body weight in a year. And like a human, that's very dangerous (unless you're morbidly obese I suppose). He was very dehydrated & his gums looked as if they weren't getting any oxygen.

I left him there for the day & they gave him a steroid injection (sound familiar?) into his lungs to take the inflammation from the asthma down. That didn't work, so they gave him a bronchial injection to take the inflammation down in his bronchial tubes (I'm assuming). That didn't work either. The only thing that worked was placing him in a tiny oxygen tank.

The vet called me to tell me the news - "He's sick & he's not getting better." After trying to determine what my options were, I asked my last question, "Do I need to put him down?" She was quick to respond with, "that wouldn't be a wrong decision."

I told her I'd be in as soon as possible to sign the consent form. The hardest part was that Shad was out of town & couldn't be with me, but I called my neighbor Jill & asked her to take me for moral support & in case I couldn't drive. (I was a sobbing mess yet again.) She was so supportive through the whole thing.

I signed the paperwork & went back to say good-bye. He was in the oxygen tank still & as soon as they opened it, he knew it was me & he was ready to go! He bonked his head against the side of the tank (if you knew Jazz, he was notorious for bonking his head against the wall & rubbing his body along the wall anytime he was happy). It was only a few minutes later that his breathing got worse & we were both reminded that he was sick & it was better that he go.


Jazz was an incredible kitty & we gave him the most amazing home. When we got him, we were told he was the last girl in the litter. Four months later, our Jasmine became Jazz.

He ruled this house.

He used to wake us up at the crack of dawn for food & he used to sleep across my neck when he was a kitten & at the top of my pillow as he got older.

He loved tunafish & canteloupe, but he hated the vacuum.



He loved to watch the birds outside & he laid on his back with all four paws in the air anytime he was hot.



He would greet me at the door EVERY single time I came home & he loved to watch Animal Planet with Shad.



He loved to be brushed, but he hated having his nails clipped.

He would sit at the dinner table with you while you ate breakfast & wait to drink your left-over cereal milk.

He loved to lay in the tub, but he hated the smell of my lotion.

He was truly my best buddy through some of the hardest times in my life over the past 11 years - he always cuddled when I was crying.


I don't know of a vacation that we didn't go on where I didn't ask Shad, "I wonder how Jazz is doing."


Despite his infamous snaggle tooth, I would always get compliments on how beautiful he was every time I would bring him to the groomer or every time I would take him to the vet. He was amazing. We are truly, truly going to miss him. Most of all, I am glad he's not suffering any more & he's with my Grandma now running marathons with his healthy lungs.

Okay, so seriously - are we finished with the sadness & pain though?