When It Rains, It Pours

The freezer is stocked full of a variety of dinners, my baby boy is quite the soccer player these days - knocking the wind out of me & startling me a time or two, I can manage to get through the night with typically only one minor breakdown & I can sit & stand for up to 30 minutes at a time. Life is good. Well, ... better.


Except I lost my Grandmother yesterday. I lost the Grandmother who was just about to meet her very first grandbaby. I lost the Grandmother who was working on things for his nursery. I lost the Grandmother who was sending me books to lift my spirits through this back pain.

I know I'm being selfish & I'm angry because I felt it wasn't time for her to go yet. It wasn't convenient for me. I needed her around still, especially through this mess. She was the most encouraging woman who truly left a legacy on this earth. She touched so many lives & lived an incredible life herself. Like my Dad said last night, we all thought she was bullet-proof. How could this happen?

She was 88 years old & woke up every morning & walked for miles. She & my Grandfather traveled across the country every year to visit friends & family in New York, North Carolina, Texas, Canada, Oregon, you name it. They rarely missed an event.



Grandma taught me the importance of friends & the importance of building relationships. When I was little, & we would go camping, she would actually tell me to walk the campgrounds to meet new friends. Then, she would tell me how important it was to stay in touch & write letters to those friends. Because of her, I have stayed in touch with numerous friends from every era within my life. And I do not exaggerate when I say she had hundreds from all over the country attend her 80th birthday party & hundreds attend their 40th Wedding Anniversary Party in January. I had to share my Grandma; everyone wanted her to be their grandma & everyone wanted her to be their mom.

Grandma taught me that the trials you go through in life are only opportunities to help someone in the future. She lost one of her daughters (my Aunt Alana) when she was young & Grandma was strong enough to live through the tragedy in order to encourage those she met who lost children or loved ones.

Grandma taught me that life is too short to sit still & let it take control over you. She taught me to be active everyday. There was no sitting still. If Grandma wasn't walking 5 miles before breakfast, she was making homemade strawberry jam or making homemade spaghetti & meatballs or wall-papering the kitchen or painting the bedroom.

Last night was full of phone calls of tears. I think I won the sobbing contest thanks to the influx of hormones. Although, my Mom (who has been divorced from my Dad for over 20 years now) probably came in a close second place.

As hard as it is to accept all this (especially because she wasn't in any pain & life was currently going great for her), it brought us all together for a few laughs - Dad was actually trying to understand the phone message Mom left him & couldn't decipher what her phone number was between sobs. He finally figured it out, pulled it together & called her back, but wound up leaving her a message of sobs! Not to mention, when Alicia called Mom to tell her the news, my Mom thought she said Gunner (Alicia's dog had died). If you know my Mom or sister, you can understand why it took them awhile to figure out the miscommunication. Also, Matt couldn't believe Mom was actually calling him at work, so he refused to answer the phone & told them to take a message. His coworkers had to argue with him before he'd answer the phone.

Although she lived a very full & rich live, I feel like 88 years wasn't long enough for Grandma to be here. She did it right though & I know she left a legacy; I'm just honored to be her Granddaughter. And, I like to think that Grandma's "take-charge" personality is what brought her to Heaven yesterday - she's up there getting settled in before talking to God & asking him to take her Granddaughter's back pain away. THAT'S something my Grandmother would do.