Now Hiring

I'll be accepting applications through August 13th & expect to have someone hired by COB (close of business) on August 13th. I am looking for a nanny, a cook, a personal trainer, a maid, a Psychologist, a massage therapist, a seamstress, a manicurist, a limo driver (which means you must also own a limo because I don't own one), & a lottery winner so I can pay everyone's salaries. Unless, of course, you all want to work for me for free.

I love my life & I have no complaints, but man am I up to my neck in duties (not to be confused with doodies).

Welcome to motherhood, Nicole! Hello? You signed up for this. You prayed for this & God blessed you with everything you've asked for. Accept it & be joyful about it. You are now a nanny, a cook, you sew your own buttons back on your pants, you are your own personal trainer, maid, Psychologist, manicurist, & limo/taxi driver. Shad is your "massage therapist" & you need to start purchasing lottery tickets if you expect to win the lottery.

Shad's next market is in Southern California. Guess what that means?? We have things to do & people to see! Yahoo! The problem is, do we have enough time to see everyone AND do we have enough money to do Southern California things? California's expensive. We can make it work, but that means I have to think.

Dave Ramsey, I don't want to think. I want to cheat & I want to spend, spend, spend. That's the little red devil sitting on my left shoulder. The winged angel on my right shoulder says, "You'll get to go back in a few more months & you've paid off the car, silly! Keep up the good work!"

Shad flies down to his markets a week prior to Cashe & I going, so that means I need my limo driver to take us to the airport & pick us up. With as often as we travel these days, I hate, hate, hate asking someone to pick us up/drop us off every few weeks. How annoying. (I'm not hinting, I swear. Please do not post comments offering to take us to the airport. I'm just venting.)

While I'm juggling this bigger event in our lives, I've got the iron plugged in (but I'm preoccupied by whining to you all through my blog -- aka my psychological "therapy"), I'm attending a conference call for work, the washing machine is running, the dishwasher is running, Cashe is napping, the crockpot's cooking, & I'm doing some butt squeezes in my chair (just kidding -- that's gross). I guess I'm doing okay ... as long as Shad's preppin' himself for my shoulder rub after this call, I can forgo hiring my staff.

... Although, I am still looking for a manicurist who can paint my right hand because I'm not left-handed (& I wind up with nail polish all over my knuckles by the time I'm finished). I can offer you some of my home-cooked crockpot food as payment OR, I can sew loose buttons back on your clothing (don't ask for anything more because that's as far as my sewing skills go). Benefits include: Shad's shoulder rubs or advice on better butt-squeeze-techniques.