Every morning, I have a devotion emailed to me since I am not good about understanding what the Bible says each morning without an application or story that applies to it. I wish I did. I suppose my simple mind just needs to wrap itself around something more visual though.
Over the few years I have read this Girlfriends Devotion, I have been reading about what they refer to as "sandpaper people" (visualize that). And although it took me awhile to figure out what they were describing initially, I figured it out - they're people who rub you the wrong way. (Ah, there's the 7:00 a.m. lightbulb clicking on.)
Basically, a "sandpaper person" is someone who does not submit their tongue to God. Sounds a bit harsh, especially if you're not "religious" & if you're feeling you're being told you have got to give up a sense of control, but I read on ... & it said, "Meekness isn't weakness; it's power under control. It is taming & training our tongues." It's when you have the ability to turn your tongue over to God or tame your tongue that you have the ability to use your words for good.
I find that it is often that "sandpaper people" have no clue how to tame their tongues & either choose not to tame them or don't know how. Over the years, (yes, recently ... 12 years out of high school, believe it or not) I have run into what I thought were close friends &/or aquaintances who were certainly what I would certainly consider "sandpaper people" who had no control over what came out of their mouths. The result: hurt feelings.
You may say, "Toughen up, chick. Life isn't fair." But realistically, is it necessary to tell someone,
"I heard she is mad at you because she thought you said ..." or
"I wasn't going to tell you this, but she thinks you ..." or
"I noticed that you're eating a lot more than you used to." or
"Are you sure that dress is flattering?" or
"Are you sure you're not carrying twins?" or
"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but she thinks you're ..."
My response to these unnecessary remarks? Well, it was probably a sarcastic one (which really isn't any better - I am certainly not claiming to be holier than thou), but seriously, are of those statements or questions necessary? Are any of those statements considered good? And ultimately, what's the result of hearing them? Defensiveness? Hurt feelings? A second look at, "Why am I spending time with this person who just brings me down?"
I know I have written about this type of situation before when I wrote about evaluating my associations, but of course, these "sandpaper people" (new & old) will undoubtedly always be a part of life. I have had several people ask me why I continue to submit myself & my time to these people, I can only answer with, I can either choose to be loving towards them, to be encouraging towards them, be patient towards them & perhaps eventually care enough to confront them, OR I could write them off, distance myself from them, & guard my heart.
I think every situation needs to be evaluated individually, but either way, I hope I can be of some encouragement to not write someone off who really isn't out to hurt feelings, they're just looking to fill empty silence with words & the words they have chosen just simply haven't been tamed.
Again, I don't claim to be better than anyone or holier than thou, I just figure that there's no reason to return the hurt when someone just may not know what to say. Just my two cents ... for what it's worth.
No comments:
Post a Comment